It's late midnight now.
Time is around 2.33AM.
Weather is getting colder as dark clouds or red clouds is here.
Think it's gonna rain soon.
My N' Level is just next Monday and here I am using computer playing AuditionSEA, chatting in MSN and playing games in FaceBook.
Shouldn't I be sleeping now like anyone else is doing?
After my AuditionSEA game with Kenneth and Bee Hsiang at around 1AM plus, I went back to MSN to see who's online and see who can I chat with.
So there I'm chatting with Hui Ting.
While chatting, I'm playing my FaceBook's Country Story.
It's all about harvesting and watering your crops etc.
Quite fun and quite lame.
And there I saw someone online at that time which was very late and unexpectedly.
Afterall, something struck me.
It increase my 'troubles' in my bottle.
I began to feel more piss and tired.
I vent my anger on my MSN's personal message.
Hui Ting saw and she asked me what had happened.
I let my troubles out abit.
Complain and complain.
I told her about that something, and told her that I'm very very tired.
I don't know why is there such thing even exist on Earth.
I had already tolerated and endured for around 4 to 5 months of that behaviour.
I really want to say it out to that individual thing but can I?
All I'm afraid was getting scolding from it, being isolate by it.
Or even not being friend with it.
I care for this thing very much, I treasure this thing-ship very much.
I give in alot to it.
I thought I'm wasn't doing my best as it's best-thing.
So I always let it do what it wants.
I respect it alot and I always follow it's bidding.
People always say that there's saying,"Treat people as how you want to be treated by them".
Is true afterall?
I don't get what I deserve, you know?
Till now, I'm very tired already.
I told myself not to be so agitated to it or too over-control.
I also hope myself not to be so concern for my best-thing, you see.
But I can't!
Who ask me to put Friendship in the first priority?
It's myself.
I just think that it isn't fair.
Some of my friends told me that I'm easy to get bullied by other people.
Some friends thought I was being bullied.
But I told them never.
I always told them never, we were just playing.
I don't want troubles to occur because of me.
Therefore, I tried to control and tolerate.
But I found that I'm being use for granted.
Is that true?
Can someone tell me?
Although this thing often treated me quite good, but I still think that there's abit bias-ness in between.
I tried to give it some own space.
I tried many ways of preventing myself to explode.
I'm still trying!
I really want to tell it it's flaws.
Although I maybe have too, but I hope it change and give me time to change?
I'm just tired and stressful now?
Ok it's late now.
The time 2.59AM.
Think I'm turning in soon.
And anyway, I would like to thank Hui Ting to be my listening ear for these 2 days.
Thanks alot.
See ya guys.
And I would like to apologize to this thing.
Sorry if I'm really bothering you.